I read a post over on the “Oh She Glows” blog which really resonated with me about overcoming fear. This was particularly because I had my appraisal talk yesterday coming into the middle of my probation period at work and I had a lot to get off my chest.I communicated the vast majority of it very well and was happy because it took a lot of bravery to overcome my hangup about speaking my mind.
I found out during the talk, that the conditions of the work, my role and where it is leading is not clearly in line with what I want to gain nor what I feel like I signed up for. Instead it is perhaps leading me down some garden path into a strange role that noone else in the whole firm has and that will not help me further when I want to move on.
I have worked in a lot of different roles in a lot of different companies and I think that this is already either a very hard training field for my confidence to grow, or, perhaps it could be altogether impossible for it to develop at all. Since I have to look after my mental health as priority one, I am considering moving on, as a solid testiment to my putting myself first. It would be important to move on before my 6mth probationary period is over because after that I have to hand in a whopping 3mths notice
In my experience, Women and young people working in Germany compared to other European countries face big problems with climbing onto the career ladder. For one the difference in salary for the same role and same experience is vast. The girls ladder to me seems to be a couple of rungs shorter than it should be at the bottom and is missing some at the top! Aside from being expected to work for at least a year to two practically for free as an intern (which is illegal in France), my salary actualy decreased the last two years of working in my last firm, my title remaining the same as junior and I am finding it impossible to move up because I didn’t jump ship fast enough last time. It’s exhausting and it’s also very hurtful when other colleagues point this out.
The problem is that I’m missing some experience (that I am actually slowly gaining now in this role) to be able to move onwards, but I was told it will take a year to two years to shake the junior title with almost 6 years experience. Why another two years.
The lesson I learned last time is that it is definitely time to jump the sinking ship:
a) before everybody else does and you’re the last rat on that ship made to do everything. There is a lot of psychological pressure to hold you back and in the end it eventually resulted in redundancy. It’s better to get off the ship now and find your own way before you lose time and motivation
b) when you are no longer benefiting in any way – by a healthy ratio of salary + experience + job-satisfaction
c) because of bullying from your coworkers
d) because of backpaddling on promises, uncomfortable work atmosphere…. ???